The Simpsons Teaching Me About Boundaries in Ministry

I’m one of those that can’t wait to see the movie. I’m also hoping that the movie will make up for the last couple of seasons of the Simpsons.

But the reason why I am blogging about them today is that the Simpsons actually makes me think about Christianity and how other people may view us as Christians. A lot of non-Christians really see us like Ned Flanders.

But there was one episode of the Simpsons that was funny when I first saw it, but viewed under a different light once I started seminary and being in ministry.

The episode I’m referring to is called “In Marge We Trust.”
Basically, we begin to see why the community’s pastor, Rev. Lovejoy has neither love nor joy in his ministry. He shows the classic symptoms of a pastor being burned out.
How did he lose his love and joy for his ministry? Well, mainly because of Ned Flanders. Ned kept calling Rev. Lovejoy over everything possible, and Lovejoy listened to every call. He tells Marge (who was going to be answering the calls of needy congregation members) “After that, I just stopped caring. Luckily by then, it was the 80s and no one noticed.”

Here are some of the things that Ned would ask for advice:
Ned Flanders: Reverend, I’m, uh, I’m afraid something has happened.
Reverend Lovejoy: Well sit down and rap with me brother, that’s what I’m here for.
Ned Flanders: Well, I was talked into doing a dance called “The Bump”, but my hip slipped and my buttocks came into contact with the buttocks of another young man!

Ned calls in with an “emergency”:
Ned: I think I swallowed a toothpick!

And there were many more instances of Ned just calling Rev. Lovejoy.

In all ministries of all ages, there’s always going to be at least one “needy” person, who just needs to call for the smallest of reasons.
We shouldn’t ignore that person’s needs, but we should be clear on our boundaries. In the end, it was really Lovejoy’s fault that he stopped caring. His passion was driven out by the neediness of one man, and trying to meet those needs.

As a pastor, we can’t let people walk over us, or assume that we will be there in case they shatter their favorite coffee mug. We need to set boundaries and limits. It’s not that we don’t want to care for them and that we don’t love them, but we need to care for ourselves so that we may be there for them when they really need help and guidance. As rude as it may seem, if someone called me over a broken coffee mug, I’d tell them to suck it up, the world is still turning. Too rude and no compassion? I don’t think so. We can’t let one person abuse and dominate our service.

As pastors, it is up to us to teach the congregation members (through love) what our roles aren’t. If you want to be there for every need of your parish members, more power to you, but I can’t function like that and still have a healthy home life.

We need to set limits and boundaries in the way we do ministry, or at least I do.
Doug Fields writes about how when he started ministry, he heard a youth pastor talk about how he left in the middle of his anniversary dinner to be with a kid who needed help (I don’t think it was a serious matter). Doug writes that he, at first, thought that was real dedication and how great of a pastor that man was. And then Doug writes how foolish that type of ministry is. He says that if he left an anniversary dinner, he better not come back home. He says that now if he’s out with his wife (because that time is hard to come by) and a youth calls, he answers “I love you, but if you’re not dying or this isn’t a serious emergency, I’ll call you first thing tomorrow.”
Some people may think that rude and not very pastoral. But if you want pastors to continue to do what they do, then we need boundaries like that.

I’ll end today’s post with this. One pastor told his leaders (regarding his vacations, sabbaths, boundaries) I can give you 80% of me 100% of the time, or I can give you 100% of me 80% of the time.

Those words stuck with me.
Set your boundaries early.
Be aggressive of your time, your Sabbaths and vacations. I think these words are worth remembering in my life. (And in no way should these words be an excuse to be lazy…)

We as pastors also need to be healthy and sane.
Who wants a crazy pastor? … or who wants a pastor that’s crazy ALL the time?