Would it be considered ministry (or a church) if there were no conflicts?
The thing I find interesting is the conflicts are generally the same in all churches. The conflicts arises in youth and young adult ministry are similar to the ones that come up in adult ministry.
I think all the books I’ve read about youth ministry, there were at least one chapter devoted to conflict resolution.
Now, I don’t think that conflict is necessarily bad. I think through conflict, the church can grow stronger.
One thing I won’t let myself due is ignore the conflict, no matter how small it is. It’s always the small things that don’t get resolved and later turns into a big issue, because it had all the time to snowball.
When I first started ministry, I was naive enough to think that all conflicts would be resolved with a happy ending.
But I learned, during a conflict, be a leader. That’s tough, because I want to shy away from the conflict and pray and hope that it will resolve itself. Of course that rarely happens, instead, like I mentioned earlier, it starts to snowball and becomes a big mess. Being a leader also doesn’t mean pleasing the people all the time. It means doing what’s right, not what’s popular. And I can’t go in to resolving a conflict thinking that “I don’t want to hurt their feelings.” Chances are, they will be hurt, and so will I. But hopefully we can grow from that hurt. “Leadership isn’t easy and not everyone will like you.” I read that in a Doug Fields book and for me, it took some load off of my shoulders. I’m not here to be liked. It’s nice, but I’m here to ultimately lead the people towards God.
I have a conflict that I have to deal with (Thankfully, it’s not something against me. I know it may have sounded weird that I said “thankfully” that this time it’s not a problem someone has with me. Those tend to be slightly easier to deal with than people who have a conflict with me. Selfish, I know). I pray for wisdom and guidance from the Spirit. And I pray for love and mercy to fill our hearts as we move toward to being peacemakers.