We’ve taxied the plane.
I turned on my cellphone waiting to get re-connected with the digital and cellular world.
Searching for signal.
Searching for signal.
Searching for signal.

It’s the next day, and my phone is still searching for signal.
I called Verizon and they’re no help. I’m waiting. With no way to make a phone call on my cellphone. I joked once that no one uses cellphones to make phone calls anymore but the reality of that joke is pretty… isolating.

I get lost easily in Santa Barbara. So being in a new place — the chances of getting lost increases exponentially.
But, (and here’s a quick shoutout) for whatever reason, I packed my Karma Wi-fi with me. It’s been a God-send. I can navigate through the city. I can stay connected with folks via email and texts when I’m not a place with free wifi. I can use google voice to make phone calls on my laptop. I can improvise and get by.

But I can’t help the sheer panic that wells up within me when I realize I can’t make a phone call if anything should happen.

I knew my dependence on technology may have been unhealthy. But I never knew how essential certain aspects were in my life.
I could go without Internet and wifi. But without the ability of making calls — it provides anxiety. So I’m not going to think about it anymore.

There’s a connection here between this anecdote and faith. But I’m too freaking out to find one.

At the time of writing this, I’ve been up for a long time. Woke up earlier than I ever have in recent memory. Camped at a Starbucks waiting for my family to get up so I can call them and wish the little one a good day at school.

And in this waiting, the love/hate relationship with technology intensifies. I hate the fact that I can’t call my family on my iPhone. But I love the fact that I have google voice to connect with them.

This world… doesn’t make sense.

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